she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think people are normalizing furries
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
