I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
