I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
