the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
