After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
