Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
