No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
