how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize