I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No stitches, just platelets and will power
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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