Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He shit in the fireplace
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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