So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
