If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize