I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
