You really coming over, don't trick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
