Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
