a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
