My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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