apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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