I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
