Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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