I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
