sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
