we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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