I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
