so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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