i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
