It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
did i walk over a car last night?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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