That's intense
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
