jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
