Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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