IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize