Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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