Screwed.edu
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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