So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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