Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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