Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
