your thong is hanging out like whoa
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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