grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
