i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
