You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
