dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
