Small penises have feelings too.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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