He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
