well you can't waste a boner
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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