i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
