yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
