Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize