Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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