Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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