I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
