I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
