What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize