I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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