these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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