Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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