you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
