My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
